It's not for me to say beauty contests should be banned. This is a free society, or supposed to be. Still, child pageants are different from adult ones because the child may be entered by their parents.It might not be their choice at all. Still I won't presume to call for these events to be abolished. I'm just quite sure that I would never have entered our daughter in one. The reasons are simple: our daughter has a value that is NOT sublect to somekind of assessment by a panel of judges, and she should NOT be made to feel less worthy than some other girl becaues when she is compared to them she wins no prizes. She should not be compared to them at all. A television documentary I saw included a segment on these "Little Miss Sunshine" type of things, the ones JonBenet Ramsay was involved in. There were brief interviews with some of the little girls who did not win anything. It was cruel to see the look of sad disappointment on the faces of those little kids who had just been made 'also rans' by this contest, which they probably spent hours, days, weeks, preparing for. We would not do that to our daughter.
Of course, you can challenge me by asking: if I was sure she would win, and it turned out she did win, might that be different? Okay, I should examine my conscience a bit. Would it thrill me to see my little girld made to feel like a winner? Answer: Yes, but there should be a better way than that. It would not be a good thing is she valued herself in terms of beating other contestants in an exhibition of lookes and grooming, or trained deportment of the sort that could be considered personal flaunting.It cannot be a good thing for a person to make a life out of 'look at me, aren't I wonderful!'
It's an old cliche to talk about not judging by appearances, looking beneath the surface for the real person, and so on. But it's also sound advice.
By definition, most people aren't exceptional. We're ordinary. That does not mean we aren't worthwhile. Not looking like the ideal image, and feeling like a failure, drives people to eating disorders, sometimes with fatal results. It also gives rise to vanity driven, frivolously sought cosmetic surgery. Tension arose between a mother and her daughter because the daughter wanted botox, and the mother objected because she considered the girl too young. Unless she has some serious abnormality, should someone under eighteen be wanting cosmetic surgery? And if she starts that young, where does it end? Did I hear that people become psychologically addicted to surgery, and nothing is ever enough?
Becoming a slave to your image will mean you never get any rest or peace. One male model complained how hard it was, that before he went out anywhere he had to make sure he was presentable. He had to act every time he had a hair out of place. In other words, his attention is always on himself.
Someone whose blog I read recalled knowing a woman who once was a professional cheerleader, with a major U.S. Football team. That woman never let anyone forget it, and after three failed marriages she was still trying to get a life from that - having once been a pin-up girl, living by her image.
Apart from the wretchedness of being driven to achieve the impossible all the time, what does it say about a person that they focus their whole life on trying to live by their physical image, or trying to keep up with some unreal concept of looking hot (or is it cool?).
Years ago MAD Magazine did a segment on ambitious parents wanting their children to win pageants, and film roles. The wry comment was made about this mother that "He will win a part if she has to break every bone in his body." This monster mother would torment her child to achieve her idea of success, for her vanity, and insist it was for his own good. Dangerous. Suffer the children.
Of course we taught our daughter to present herself properly. We look tidy and dress appropriately to avoid looking like slobs who don't care, and to show proper regard for place and other people. Beyond that, the image industry has become a trap that exploits vanity and insecurity, and takes the view that appearances are everything.
One of the best friends I've ever had is a woman with a face like Ichabod Crane. I would never say that to her, because it would be evil to hurt such a good heart. But people I've never known who never would get modelling assignments should never be trashed because of it. And I would never give my daughter to believe that her value lies in winning a tizzy contest.
